Someone’s Always Saying Goodbye

I was lying on my bed , staring at the ceiling one night when I suddenly caught myself asking this question “why do people fall in love and they end up crying?”

Suddenly as I closed my eyes, I saw a vision of woman …

She wasn’t really all set when she met her waterloo. She was heading to his direction with her bare feet, didn’t notice the thorns she stepped on. Her feet was covered with blood yet she still managed to smile and endured the pain just to draw closer to him.

’twas when she entered into the realm of love and end up crying one’s eyes out..

I saw her tears falling on  her cheeks as she was begging for his love to stay.

Again , I swiftly caught myself asking this question ” Why do lovers walk away from themselves when their hearts are breaking?”

They have been down in the dumps with each other’s arms and their only solution to end the heartache was to walk away from each other’s lives.

And while she was walking at a snail’s pace, she can’t help herself to look back and weep in despair as she saw everything vanished into thin air…

So, it made me wonder “Why does loving sometimes never stay long?” how was that easy for them to break and leave what they build for such a long time?

And as my thoughts were playing in the back of my head I saw the woman once again wiping her tears, but this time.. fiercer.

’twas when she realized a genuine love dwell and the phoney one never stay long. If it is love, it will never leave you like how he (Jesus) loves you despite of how ghastly your past was.

And for the last time I marveled,  “why does gladness suddenly become sadness?”

Their happiness turned out to misery. Easily turned down by the promises they made. And her only solution to sorrow was to accept the pain.

Pain that indeed demands to be felt and sadness that needs to be  experienced. For it is where you’re going to acquire courage in your future’s endeavor.

Someone’s always saying goodbye and someone will always be saying goodbye because changes indeed occur in any matter. It is like the law of entropy, where the tendency of all things on this  earth is to disintegrate.

I gradually opened my eyes and noticed that I am now back to reality…

People are fond of fairy tale expectations and when their fairy tale visions fall apart, they are no longer strong enough to accept it.  Love is complex and only two persons who is strong enough to endure the struggle are worth to love and be loved. Love is the greatest adventure and the best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

I may have a lot of questions about love, I may be wondering why all those shits happen. But I know, in time those questions will be answered, lessons too will be learned.

Written by: Marydel Mitch Flores
Photo Credit: ihdimages.com

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Mahal kita Tol

Hello Caris! Gusto ko lang po sana ipagsigawan sa website niyo ang nararamdaman ko para sa bestfriend ko. Tawagin niyo nalang po ako sa pangalang utoy. Alam ko mawiwirduhan kayo sa aking mga pahayag tungkol sa aking pagkatao lalo na sa pagtingin ko sa aking bestfriend.

Simula pagkabata magkaibigan na po kami ni utol.  Di ko siguro mabilang yung mga masasaya at masasakit naming experience. Hindi din mawala-wala yung saya ng pagsasamahan namin bilang mag-utol.  Para nga kaming ilog at dagat na hindi mo pwedeng paghiwalayin. Kakaiba yung friendship namin kasi sa lugar namin kami yung mga matipuno at kilala bilang siga ng daan. Ang dami na nga naming binugbog sa lugar namin kaya ang tawag ng mga taga-doon sa amin sa amin ay “Mga Kilabot ng Sta. Ana”. Maniwala po kayo o sa hindi pero ganun po talaga.

Halos lahat ata ng mga gusto namin pareho kami. Mahilig kami sa basketball, maglaro ng video-games, magsolve ng mga puzzles at marami pang iba. Ganunpaman, merong isang bagay lang ang hindi kami magkapareho. Mahal niya ako bilang kaibigan, mahal ko siya bilang higit pa sa kaibigan.

Ewan ko ba kung bakit kay utol pa ako nainlove. Ang dami namang ibang lalaki na pwede kong mahalin pero bakit siya pa? Buti na nga lang hindi napapansin ni utol na may kakaiba sakin simula pagkabata palang. Dinadama ko kasi yung mga moment na nagkakashake hands kami, magkatabi kami at lalo na pag nagyayakapan kami pag nananalo kami sa liga.

May moment pa nga kami nung naisipan naming pumunta sa isang bar para gumimik. Libangan kasi namin na kumanta sa karaoke. Yung favorite ko nga kantahin dun ay yung “Paano na kaya” ni Bugoy. Syempre yung kaibigan ko very supportive yan sakin. Parang sira-ulo yan sa kakahiyaw pag ako na ang kumakanta. Pero ang hindi niya alam na sa bawat lyrics na isinasambit ko ay para sa kanya. Mahilig nga magtanong yun about sa lovelife ko pag nalalasing siya;

Utol: “Utoy (tawag niya sakin), pakilala mo naman sakin yang bebeloves mo!”
Utoy: Naku tol hindi pwede. Secret lang to pre wag kang ano.
*tapos biglang magbibiro si utol*
Utol: Baka ako yan ha.. Uupakan talaga kita
Utoy: Eh paano nga kung ikaw? Edi suntukan na to pre!? (tawa ng malakas)
Utol: Gago ka toy kadiri ka. Hampasin kita ng bote! (sabay tawa)
Utoy:  Gago ka din ano.. Naniwala ka naman pre!

Oh diba. Super awkward talaga ng conversation namin ni utol. Di ko nga alam kung naniniwala yun sa kasabihan na “Jokes are half meant” napakabobo talaga yung inutil na yun.

Halos anim na taon ko naring itinatago ang nararamdaman ko sa aking utol. Masakit at mahirap para sa aking part pero kailangan. Hindi naman ako pwede umamin kasi, for sure, masisira ang friendship namin. At isa pa galit na galit to sa mga tulad naming bakla, Kaya natatakot ako aminin sa kanya ang tunay na nararamdaman ko. Kaya ang ginagawa ko nalang po ay tinitibayan ko ang aking pagtayo bilang utol niya at kasangga sa mga trip niya. Ganun ko kamahal ang utol ko. Mas pipiliin ko pang  magpanggap at magtiis kaysa naman sa mawalan ako ng isang kaibigan na naging parte ng buhay ko. Higit pa sa buhay ko.                             

Mahal na mahal kita tol.

– Utoy

Photo Credits: ssufacultynews.org