Stuck in Love

Stuck between past and present. I was quite sitting along the seaside watching the waves broke and spread their waters swiftly over the shore. I noticed that the waves fell; withdrew and fell again, like my feelings for you.  I fell, like how the leaves from those trees easily fall when a sudden wind blows cold. I withdrew, like when I suddenly fall asleep on a winter day and withdrew my awareness from its hypnotic fascination with physical sensation, thereby allowing me to wake up and stand from whatever foolishness I feel for you. Yet, here I am again falling, like how  a gravity pulls back things I already throw.

Remember…

I wrote our names on the sand but what if the shore will be washed by the waves?

I wrote our names on the trees but what if tress will be cut?

I wrote our names on benches but what if benches will be painted?

Yet… I will  never get tired and will still be writing our names because in this world of ephemera, You and I are the only constant…

Well, that was when I thought we really are.. But I was wrong..

And as I was sitting there alone, thinking about past, someone strode to my life and suddenly handed me his hand. An act of saying “stand up. cheer up. I’m here to unlock you from being imprisoned.”

I have doubts yet one must release the grime built up inside to free their emotions like the ocean. I wanted to flee these wings and fly like there’s no tomorrow. I wanted to free myself from this caged I have been in, since the day I met my past. I wanted to run away and never comes back.

All I ever did was to wait.  I was caged by my own feelings and waited for someone to unlocked me. I waited for someone I don’t have any assurance of. I waited for someone I thought would come back for me.

And as I was waiting , I’d never thought someone would dare to walked in to my fed-up life . Someone once again give color to the griminess of my life. I wasn’t exactly sure if my heart is in good condition now, but all I know is that…

I am happy…


Not until  past came again…

Memories keep  hunting me…

Once again you strode into my life. But this time I can see regret and sincerity in your eyes. You held my hand as you were begging for me to come back.

“Why now?”

That was the only question I wanted you to answer straight to my eyes but you can’t even answer me directly.

Why?

I have a lot of “Why’s?” now in life

And now it made me wonder..

that  even nature; those restless waves, irregular trees and stars all out of line show that chaos can be beautiful.

And yes. You were that beautiful chaos I ever had. But you are no longer that someone I would dare to give my heart back.

……

Thus, this is the day I forgive my past and close my eyes. ..

I can hear a river flowing inside me again, those waves of the ocean hitting my soul once again and indeed the sun shines, lightning up my darkness nights.

Written by: Marydel Mitch Flores
Photo Credit: hqpictures.net

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Someone’s Always Saying Goodbye

I was lying on my bed , staring at the ceiling one night when I suddenly caught myself asking this question “why do people fall in love and they end up crying?”

Suddenly as I closed my eyes, I saw a vision of woman …

She wasn’t really all set when she met her waterloo. She was heading to his direction with her bare feet, didn’t notice the thorns she stepped on. Her feet was covered with blood yet she still managed to smile and endured the pain just to draw closer to him.

’twas when she entered into the realm of love and end up crying one’s eyes out..

I saw her tears falling on  her cheeks as she was begging for his love to stay.

Again , I swiftly caught myself asking this question ” Why do lovers walk away from themselves when their hearts are breaking?”

They have been down in the dumps with each other’s arms and their only solution to end the heartache was to walk away from each other’s lives.

And while she was walking at a snail’s pace, she can’t help herself to look back and weep in despair as she saw everything vanished into thin air…

So, it made me wonder “Why does loving sometimes never stay long?” how was that easy for them to break and leave what they build for such a long time?

And as my thoughts were playing in the back of my head I saw the woman once again wiping her tears, but this time.. fiercer.

’twas when she realized a genuine love dwell and the phoney one never stay long. If it is love, it will never leave you like how he (Jesus) loves you despite of how ghastly your past was.

And for the last time I marveled,  “why does gladness suddenly become sadness?”

Their happiness turned out to misery. Easily turned down by the promises they made. And her only solution to sorrow was to accept the pain.

Pain that indeed demands to be felt and sadness that needs to be  experienced. For it is where you’re going to acquire courage in your future’s endeavor.

Someone’s always saying goodbye and someone will always be saying goodbye because changes indeed occur in any matter. It is like the law of entropy, where the tendency of all things on this  earth is to disintegrate.

I gradually opened my eyes and noticed that I am now back to reality…

People are fond of fairy tale expectations and when their fairy tale visions fall apart, they are no longer strong enough to accept it.  Love is complex and only two persons who is strong enough to endure the struggle are worth to love and be loved. Love is the greatest adventure and the best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

I may have a lot of questions about love, I may be wondering why all those shits happen. But I know, in time those questions will be answered, lessons too will be learned.

Written by: Marydel Mitch Flores
Photo Credit: ihdimages.com

Cry When it Hurts

Many people complain saying, “Life is so unfair”. Life is FAIR I say, because it is unfair to everybody. All of us have that insufficiencies or maybe insecurities, we get to see from others things that we’ve always wanted to have, we all know that it hurts a lot.
I can define pain as a drastic feeling that triggers tears to come out and is sometimes uncontrollable. No one likes it! I reacted a lot, agreeing, to a punch line from a book entitled “The Fault In Our Stars” that says, “Pain demands to be felt”. I am 100% sure that no human has ever existed on earth that had not encountered or experienced pain or adversity.
Pain is supposed to be a momentary feeling yet it can last for a very long time when it’s not settled within us. It may in fact cause a mental disorder called Post-traumatic syndrome also known as Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is a problem of the inner-self, especially in the mind, of a person who underwent a terrifying event in the past and just negatively reacted to it long after. Unsettled pain may result to ignorance of the things happening around which is so dangerous.
According to researchers, a person with Post-traumatic stress disorder experiences severe anxiety, nightmares and frequent flashbacks about the event. The things they need to have are time and good self-care. But the question is, how can this be prevented?
For me it’s simple, just cry, cry when it hurts the most, cry when your heart cannot bear the pain any longer, cry and let go of the ache, cry and then accept the not-so-good happenings in the past.
Others may think that crying is for the weak ones, this I strongly disagree. Crying actually helps ease the pain, it lets you pour out all the disappointments, failures, rejections and hardships.

So if you are undergoing such difficult situation right now, having hard time to let go of the wrong decisions made in life and have all enough reasons to give up, think back the time you chose to be strong and why you stayed strong. Go through it and you’ll surely overcome it. You’ll become a better version of you, stronger than ever before. It’s okay to pause for a while and cry when it hurts.

Written by: Irish Alonzo
Photo Credit: Reference.com

A bit of Love

That moment I laid my eyes on you was the moment I knew would change my life. When you loomed in front of me, leered, smiled and held my hand… I felt the spark. When you said “hi” and I said “hello” was the start of our quixotic love story. When you asked my favorite color I knew you would paint my world. When you showed me the real you, you allowed me to enter into your life.

Firsts would always be superb and endings would often be heart-rending. Reality might be excruciating but somehow it taught me lessons.

(A moment of silence)…

As I was flipping the pages of your book I noticed some missing folios…I was there to fill your emptiness. I was the one who wrote the most exciting part of your life. I was there during your downcast. I was there holding on, even though there were a lot of antagonist in this story…but you weren’t there after all.

I was once in love with a coward…

You showed me the realm of love. You exposed me to notions of fantasies, how enchanting it was to be in love, you filled my world with sweet-smelling words… …

‘twas indeed a very nice journey. But like how you suddenly appeared into my life was how you instantly disappeared as well.

(Sigh)…

Remember that one dusky evening, I was there standing in front of you under the dainty moon. I will never forget how romantic it was; how you gazed at me, how you held my hand like the first time we met, how you kissed me on the forehead, how you slowly touched my hair and…

… how you run away when I said those three words and eight letters to you.

I was left there startled in despair as I watched you slowly vanishing away. ‘twas the most romantic night yet the most throbbing moment as well.

Again…

That moment I laid my eyes on you was the moment I knew would change my life. You turned those blissful thoughts to dreariness.

When you loomed in front of me, leered, smiled and held my hand… I felt the spark. Those sparks that killed me…

When you said “hi” and I said “hello” was the start of our quixotic love story. A delusion of what I thought it could be.

When you asked my favorite color I knew you would paint my world. And so you swathed my world with murkiness.

When you showed me the real you, you allowed me to enter into your life. But you pushed me out right away.

That moment… The moment when I first met you, I knew you would slay my heart and I should’ve saved my heart for someone worth dying for.

Written by: Marydel Mitch Flores

What to do when you don’t know what to do

Isn’t it funny to think that in today’s life somehow brings confusion, to the point of asking yourself what to do or What am I supposed to do. You’re disappointed because you find yourself tired of doing nothing and being so lifeless? Worry no more, here are 4 easy tips to do when you don’t know what to do.

First, what you should do is to PAUSE! This is the point of realization. You need to understand that time is like a river, it flows non-stop and it never passes the same point twice. Time also never passes the same moment twice. When its wasted it’s wasted. You can never go back and try to change it to make your present different than what it is right now.

But here’s good news, time is always new. It’s never too late to make some differences in your present, just remember the existence of your future. Regret then forget those wasted time, know that the sun still shines.

Second, RECREATE! Create it again. Remember the last time you find yourself doing the things you love. Make your dead dreams alive again.

Doing what you love is the perfect thing to pursue because living means enjoying and enjoying means living life to the full. You can also spend time with your family and friends or travel to places you want to visit. Know your desires so you can know how to start. Example, you want to become a singer? the start practicing or maybe you want to travel to places, start saving. You can always know how to start. You can list down all the things you haven’t done yet. Start with little things.

Third, APPRECIATE! Look back to your previous achievements and appreciate, then let go of them because you are going to make new ones. Start appreciating yourself and see the great value of your life. You’ll begin to realize that you can do more than what you think you can. Fear cannot stand on your way because you are already stepping on it.

Fourth, always believe that YOU CAN! What you believe in matters a lot, it’s powerful. Having a positive mindset brings a positive result while worrying brings stress and stress paralyzes. Stress is actually the cause why you can’t know what you can do. It limits you and might result to depression. So whatever your dreams are, pursue them by believing that you can. Life has more things in store for you. Failure is natural but don’t stay there. When you don’t know what to do, here’s what you can do: PAUSE, RECREATE and APPRECIATE then believe that YOU CAN pursue all your dreams. The secret is this, “Don’t get tired to be inspired”.

Written by: Irish Alonzo

Win her heart back!

Nakakalungkot isipin na sa dami ng magagandang alaala na nabuo niyo bilang magkasintahan ay maglalaho, dahil lang sa isang pagkakamaling nagawa. Kung pwede lang sana gawin itong right minus wrong, para sa isang pagkakamali na nagawa ay isang magandang alaala ang mabubura. Pero walang ganun. Ang relasyon ay parang gusali at ang pundasyon naman nito ay tiwala (trust) sa isa’t isa. Kapag natibag ito, lahat ng mga pinaghirapan niyo at mga masasayang alaala ay masasama sa pagguho. Ano nga ba ang maaari kong gawin para maibalik ko ang nasira naming relasyon?

Una, patawarin mo muna sarili mo. Paano mo mapapatawad ng ibang tao kung ang sarili mo nga ay hindi mo kayang patawarin? Ito kasi ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit lumalayo ang isang tao sa kanilang kasintahan na kanilang nasaktan. Nakokonsensya sila sa kanilang nagawa at patuloy parin silang naninirahan sa past. Tandaan, Wag mo gawing hadlang ang nakalipas para ihinto mo ang nasayang niyong relasyon. Kung mahal mo talaga siya, gumawa ka ng paraan. Wag ka magmukmok diyan sa gilid na parang talunan. Laban kapatid!

Kung napatawad mo na ang iyong sarili, malamang ready ka na sa pangalawang hakbang. Ang pangalawang hakbang na kailangan mong gawin ay ligawan siya ulit. Pero ang pangliligaw na ito ay kailangan mo talagang paghirapan. Ibuhos mo ang lahat ng makakaya (effort) mo para ipakita mo sa kanya na mahal na mahal mo parin siya. Naalala mo yung sinabi ko na ang relasyon ay parang gusali? Kailangan mo ulit ito mabuo ng paunti-unti, hanggang sa bumalik ang dati niyang ganda.

Pangatlo. Normal lang yan na pagsungitan ka at mareject ka sa pagsuyo mo sa kanya. Kailangan mo lang ng mahabang pasensya. Kung may mga salita man siyang lagging sinasabi sayo, tulad ng- “Please, convince me more”, “Maghanap ka nalang ng iba mong lolokohin” at ito pa “Patunayan mo pa sakin kung talagang sincere ka, dahil ayaw ko nang masaktan”! Tama ba mga girls?

Pang-apat. Wag kang susuko! Kahit ano mang rejections ang ginagawa niya sayo, as long as wala pang nagpapasaya sa kanyang iba, laban lang ng laban! Wag mo hahayaan na masayang lahat ng effort mo at mawala ang taong mahal mo. Eto na ang tamang panahon para maipakita mo sa kanya na pinagsisihan mo na ang iyong maling nagawa. Huwag kang panghinaan ng loob, mahal ka parin niyan hindi niya lang masabi dahil kailangan pa niya ng proof at sapat na rason kung bakit niya ibabalik ang nasira niyang tiwala sayo. Be patient and time will come, Maipapanalo mo ulit siya.

Pang-lima. Oh ayan, lumambot na ang puso niya sayo at pinatawad ka na niya. Alam mo kung anong sunod? Ipagpatuloy mo lang ang pangliligaw sa kanya. Pagandahin nang pagandahin mo lang ang inyong relasyon. Panatiliin itong mainit dahil ang relasyon ay parang kape, kapag hindi na ito mainit, hindi na siya masarap inumin.

Pang-anim! Oo di pa ako tapos! Para iwas temptasyon at para mapanatilihing matibay ang pagmamahal niyo sa isa’t isa. Kailangan niyong ipagitna ang Panginoon sa inyong relasyon. Siya ang iyong magsisilbing gabay tungo sa maganda at masayang buhay.

Isinulat ni: Cladgedon Argawanon