Stuck in Love

Stuck between past and present. I was quite sitting along the seaside watching the waves broke and spread their waters swiftly over the shore. I noticed that the waves fell; withdrew and fell again, like my feelings for you.  I fell, like how the leaves from those trees easily fall when a sudden wind blows cold. I withdrew, like when I suddenly fall asleep on a winter day and withdrew my awareness from its hypnotic fascination with physical sensation, thereby allowing me to wake up and stand from whatever foolishness I feel for you. Yet, here I am again falling, like how  a gravity pulls back things I already throw.

Remember…

I wrote our names on the sand but what if the shore will be washed by the waves?

I wrote our names on the trees but what if tress will be cut?

I wrote our names on benches but what if benches will be painted?

Yet… I will  never get tired and will still be writing our names because in this world of ephemera, You and I are the only constant…

Well, that was when I thought we really are.. But I was wrong..

And as I was sitting there alone, thinking about past, someone strode to my life and suddenly handed me his hand. An act of saying “stand up. cheer up. I’m here to unlock you from being imprisoned.”

I have doubts yet one must release the grime built up inside to free their emotions like the ocean. I wanted to flee these wings and fly like there’s no tomorrow. I wanted to free myself from this caged I have been in, since the day I met my past. I wanted to run away and never comes back.

All I ever did was to wait.  I was caged by my own feelings and waited for someone to unlocked me. I waited for someone I don’t have any assurance of. I waited for someone I thought would come back for me.

And as I was waiting , I’d never thought someone would dare to walked in to my fed-up life . Someone once again give color to the griminess of my life. I wasn’t exactly sure if my heart is in good condition now, but all I know is that…

I am happy…


Not until  past came again…

Memories keep  hunting me…

Once again you strode into my life. But this time I can see regret and sincerity in your eyes. You held my hand as you were begging for me to come back.

“Why now?”

That was the only question I wanted you to answer straight to my eyes but you can’t even answer me directly.

Why?

I have a lot of “Why’s?” now in life

And now it made me wonder..

that  even nature; those restless waves, irregular trees and stars all out of line show that chaos can be beautiful.

And yes. You were that beautiful chaos I ever had. But you are no longer that someone I would dare to give my heart back.

……

Thus, this is the day I forgive my past and close my eyes. ..

I can hear a river flowing inside me again, those waves of the ocean hitting my soul once again and indeed the sun shines, lightning up my darkness nights.

Written by: Marydel Mitch Flores
Photo Credit: hqpictures.net

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Someone’s Always Saying Goodbye

I was lying on my bed , staring at the ceiling one night when I suddenly caught myself asking this question “why do people fall in love and they end up crying?”

Suddenly as I closed my eyes, I saw a vision of woman …

She wasn’t really all set when she met her waterloo. She was heading to his direction with her bare feet, didn’t notice the thorns she stepped on. Her feet was covered with blood yet she still managed to smile and endured the pain just to draw closer to him.

’twas when she entered into the realm of love and end up crying one’s eyes out..

I saw her tears falling on  her cheeks as she was begging for his love to stay.

Again , I swiftly caught myself asking this question ” Why do lovers walk away from themselves when their hearts are breaking?”

They have been down in the dumps with each other’s arms and their only solution to end the heartache was to walk away from each other’s lives.

And while she was walking at a snail’s pace, she can’t help herself to look back and weep in despair as she saw everything vanished into thin air…

So, it made me wonder “Why does loving sometimes never stay long?” how was that easy for them to break and leave what they build for such a long time?

And as my thoughts were playing in the back of my head I saw the woman once again wiping her tears, but this time.. fiercer.

’twas when she realized a genuine love dwell and the phoney one never stay long. If it is love, it will never leave you like how he (Jesus) loves you despite of how ghastly your past was.

And for the last time I marveled,  “why does gladness suddenly become sadness?”

Their happiness turned out to misery. Easily turned down by the promises they made. And her only solution to sorrow was to accept the pain.

Pain that indeed demands to be felt and sadness that needs to be  experienced. For it is where you’re going to acquire courage in your future’s endeavor.

Someone’s always saying goodbye and someone will always be saying goodbye because changes indeed occur in any matter. It is like the law of entropy, where the tendency of all things on this  earth is to disintegrate.

I gradually opened my eyes and noticed that I am now back to reality…

People are fond of fairy tale expectations and when their fairy tale visions fall apart, they are no longer strong enough to accept it.  Love is complex and only two persons who is strong enough to endure the struggle are worth to love and be loved. Love is the greatest adventure and the best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

I may have a lot of questions about love, I may be wondering why all those shits happen. But I know, in time those questions will be answered, lessons too will be learned.

Written by: Marydel Mitch Flores
Photo Credit: ihdimages.com

Cry When it Hurts

Many people complain saying, “Life is so unfair”. Life is FAIR I say, because it is unfair to everybody. All of us have that insufficiencies or maybe insecurities, we get to see from others things that we’ve always wanted to have, we all know that it hurts a lot.
I can define pain as a drastic feeling that triggers tears to come out and is sometimes uncontrollable. No one likes it! I reacted a lot, agreeing, to a punch line from a book entitled “The Fault In Our Stars” that says, “Pain demands to be felt”. I am 100% sure that no human has ever existed on earth that had not encountered or experienced pain or adversity.
Pain is supposed to be a momentary feeling yet it can last for a very long time when it’s not settled within us. It may in fact cause a mental disorder called Post-traumatic syndrome also known as Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is a problem of the inner-self, especially in the mind, of a person who underwent a terrifying event in the past and just negatively reacted to it long after. Unsettled pain may result to ignorance of the things happening around which is so dangerous.
According to researchers, a person with Post-traumatic stress disorder experiences severe anxiety, nightmares and frequent flashbacks about the event. The things they need to have are time and good self-care. But the question is, how can this be prevented?
For me it’s simple, just cry, cry when it hurts the most, cry when your heart cannot bear the pain any longer, cry and let go of the ache, cry and then accept the not-so-good happenings in the past.
Others may think that crying is for the weak ones, this I strongly disagree. Crying actually helps ease the pain, it lets you pour out all the disappointments, failures, rejections and hardships.

So if you are undergoing such difficult situation right now, having hard time to let go of the wrong decisions made in life and have all enough reasons to give up, think back the time you chose to be strong and why you stayed strong. Go through it and you’ll surely overcome it. You’ll become a better version of you, stronger than ever before. It’s okay to pause for a while and cry when it hurts.

Written by: Irish Alonzo
Photo Credit: Reference.com

The Reason Behind Her Smile

The reason behind her smile is what makes my mind busy. I mean who can’t stand a smile coming from a beautiful lady?

Of all the things she wears, stylistic dress or dangling accessories, nothing beats the smile she has when she looks at me.

I gave her a gift and flowers in different hues. We drove to parks and strolled the beach to forget the blues. When the sun came down, I walked with her to their home and when we reached the porch, I looked at her face and felt the love like a burning torch.

Before I go, I took her hand and asked her a question. “It’s late but would you tell me who’s behind those smiles of yours?”

Her cheeks turned red, and her hands gone warm. I was holding my breath, she whispered, “it is you of course!” That moment, how I wish I could stop the time.

Written by: Edward Vincent “Wa Do” Canaya
Photo Credit: Mac Simbajon 

I’m in love with the Ghost.

I know it may sound weird, but there’s a strange feeling inside of me, it’s so difficult to explain. I know you wouldn’t  believe me but I think I’m in love with someone uncommon and unseen. Scary right? Maybe you’re starting to think that I’m crazy. I guess I will have to tell you, since this makes you a bit curious. This is how I fell in love.

When I decided to live in a historic village of Macopa, I rented an old apartment. It was the only place I can afford, sad right? Well, I’d rather live in a place like that than to live in a place where no true friends are found. And so I want to provide myself a place where I can be at peace.

If a drug addict needs to be rehabilitated, well a broken hearted man, like me, also need time to be alone, to do some fixing in the mind and heart. It’s been 7 years since my heart broke, like a glass shattered into pieces. All the pain I’ve been through, I was fed up with lies and it’s impossible to bring back the trust that was once built strongly.

Finding myself alone in a four-cornered room, only then, I started to realize some things and slowly everything seemed clear to me now. Nevertheless, amidst of my loneliness in this solemn place. Suddenly, something supernatural happened. The place went colder and colder and I heard a sweet whisper but I’m sure I was alone.  

Was it a ghost? She often visits me at night when I’m asleep. I can sense her. She used to sing me lullabies . She does everything to make me feel I wasn’t alone. It startled me most of the time.

She never left me and that’s what I love about her. Though her presence was there, I was ignoring her. If only she was true and alive, I will never miss a chance to be with her.

By the time I leave this place, I will bring with me all the good memories I had with her. This is the reality that I will have to face but now is different, I am a better person now, I’ve learned to be strong and fearless. I’m gonna miss her so much. I love you.. Mom.  

Written by: Cladgedon M. Argawanon
Photo Credit: Mac Simbajon

A bit of Love

That moment I laid my eyes on you was the moment I knew would change my life. When you loomed in front of me, leered, smiled and held my hand… I felt the spark. When you said “hi” and I said “hello” was the start of our quixotic love story. When you asked my favorite color I knew you would paint my world. When you showed me the real you, you allowed me to enter into your life.

Firsts would always be superb and endings would often be heart-rending. Reality might be excruciating but somehow it taught me lessons.

(A moment of silence)…

As I was flipping the pages of your book I noticed some missing folios…I was there to fill your emptiness. I was the one who wrote the most exciting part of your life. I was there during your downcast. I was there holding on, even though there were a lot of antagonist in this story…but you weren’t there after all.

I was once in love with a coward…

You showed me the realm of love. You exposed me to notions of fantasies, how enchanting it was to be in love, you filled my world with sweet-smelling words… …

‘twas indeed a very nice journey. But like how you suddenly appeared into my life was how you instantly disappeared as well.

(Sigh)…

Remember that one dusky evening, I was there standing in front of you under the dainty moon. I will never forget how romantic it was; how you gazed at me, how you held my hand like the first time we met, how you kissed me on the forehead, how you slowly touched my hair and…

… how you run away when I said those three words and eight letters to you.

I was left there startled in despair as I watched you slowly vanishing away. ‘twas the most romantic night yet the most throbbing moment as well.

Again…

That moment I laid my eyes on you was the moment I knew would change my life. You turned those blissful thoughts to dreariness.

When you loomed in front of me, leered, smiled and held my hand… I felt the spark. Those sparks that killed me…

When you said “hi” and I said “hello” was the start of our quixotic love story. A delusion of what I thought it could be.

When you asked my favorite color I knew you would paint my world. And so you swathed my world with murkiness.

When you showed me the real you, you allowed me to enter into your life. But you pushed me out right away.

That moment… The moment when I first met you, I knew you would slay my heart and I should’ve saved my heart for someone worth dying for.

Written by: Marydel Mitch Flores

The Bitter Truth: Why does everyone hate Valentine’s Day

Why does it seems like all single folks hate Valentine’s Day? Why does every time Valentine’s day is fast approaching you’ll hear a lot of rants from bitter people?  This seems to be a growing trend nowadays most especially to the younger generation. But I wonder what makes it different from any other occasions like Christmas, New year or Thanksgiving? Where in fact it’s just a day meant to bring you closer to your loved ones.

Valentine’s Day is actually a day of love but this is not only for couples. Instead of being a day of love, this has become a day for single folks to grumble about how frustrated and lonely they are.

First of all, there are actually a lot of reason to be happy of rather than being jealous or discouraged about celebrating Valentine’s Day as single. Single folks out there have absolutely no reason to be bitter on that day or any other day because you are indeed loved by your family and friends so better stop the pity party. You may not have a perfect Facebook or Instagram- worthy relationship but I know for sure you have your family and friends with you, who loves you better than the love you’re looking for.

Why not just think of all the things people in a relationships deal with every day. Would you enjoy ditching your friends for your significant other? Would you want to take a four hour fight just because you did not immediately reply on his/her message? Would you like the feeling the need to constantly attached to your phone so you can update someone’s every move? or would you just stay calm and wait for God’s perfect time because he’s still busy writing the best love story you’ve been yearning for?

There is more to life than to be in a relationship right now.  So, instead of posting rants on Facebook about your nonexistent love life which is actually yet to come, why not just celebrate Valentine’s Day to show to your family and friends how much they mean to you.

Self pity, frustrations and acrimony is not the right attitude that you should acquire. Beautiful things happen when you distant yourself form negative vibes, it wouldn’t help you anyway. Just surround yourself with happy thoughts and be happy for those people around you.

Rather than complaining about not having a date on valentine’s Day, just think of the element of social obligation to it that can cause a little stress to couples.

First, they need to buy gifts, make reservations then end up trying to enjoy meal at an overcrowded restaurant. While if you’re single, you have nothing to worry about. You could just enjoy watching your favorite TV shows or movies, you could just sit all day and enjoy your coffee while reading your favorite book.  There’s no sense in being upset about being single; it probably won’t last forever.

Complaining about being single shows that you’re placing too much of your happiness in being a relationship. Lewis once said “Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.” Being bitter just because you’re single shows that you should learn to realign your priorities in life.

You should never rely your happiness on relationships, instead focus that happiness to Jesus. Keep your eyes on Jesus because he never lost sight of where he was headed. His love is greater than your junk.

You don’t need to rush things looking for a perfect match. Enjoy being single because when the perfect time comes you’ll surely miss everything about it. So, better not be bitter on Valentine’s Day or any other day. Think of the sweeter side rather than the bitter one. Time will surely come when you no longer need to worry about Valentine’s Day but for now, enjoy it and be happy for other people.