A Gaze Through the Pain

I can still vividly remember his luscious smiles with braces on it and how it lightens up my gloomy face, those tantalizing eyes that means a lot whenever he stares at me, his snobbish attitude that attracts me even better, and those sweet gestures that made me fall for him even more. I shuddered in delight every time we’re together. I can feel the love and care in his arms, the joy that gave light to the dinginess of my life.

Those small talks we had always made my day complete. He gave meaning to my life and made feel complete amidst the numerous things I lack. I have learned to disregard my family. I seized every opportunity I had to be with even if it means disobeying my parents. It never
mattered what my parents would say, for I never listened. For me, what matters is the happiness I feel whenever I am with him, whenever I talk to him, whenever I laugh with him.

I was this stupid person who fell for a guy —the guy who showed me how love can be playful. I expected and assumed too much. He told me, he liked me, but I was just tricked by those sweet words and gestures of him. I was just played with and then thrown like a trash, saying “I don’t want you to expect too much”.

How will I not expect?

I was hurt; my heart was totally broken. The pain was too much to bear. It was uncontrollable. I did not know what to do. Because of too much pain, I let myself drown in liquor.

Soon enough, my body reached its limit. I can hardly breathe. I was trying to keep my eyes open as I was losing consciousness. All I can see is him standing in front of me.

I woke up at the hospital. As I opened my eyes there stood beside my bed are my parents. I am too ashamed to face them, to talk to them. All I can think about is how I disobeyed them, disappointed them, how I greatly destroyed their trust.

I’m still too immature. I promised myself that I’ll never fall to the wrong person again. I’ve learmed not to expect too much out of sweet words and gestures. I’ll never enter in a serious relationship unless I’m ready and mature enough to handle things.

Written by: Marydel Mitch Flores
Photo Credit: Mac Simbajon

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What to do when you don’t know what to do

Isn’t it funny to think that in today’s life somehow brings confusion, to the point of asking yourself what to do or What am I supposed to do. You’re disappointed because you find yourself tired of doing nothing and being so lifeless? Worry no more, here are 4 easy tips to do when you don’t know what to do.

First, what you should do is to PAUSE! This is the point of realization. You need to understand that time is like a river, it flows non-stop and it never passes the same point twice. Time also never passes the same moment twice. When its wasted it’s wasted. You can never go back and try to change it to make your present different than what it is right now.

But here’s good news, time is always new. It’s never too late to make some differences in your present, just remember the existence of your future. Regret then forget those wasted time, know that the sun still shines.

Second, RECREATE! Create it again. Remember the last time you find yourself doing the things you love. Make your dead dreams alive again.

Doing what you love is the perfect thing to pursue because living means enjoying and enjoying means living life to the full. You can also spend time with your family and friends or travel to places you want to visit. Know your desires so you can know how to start. Example, you want to become a singer? the start practicing or maybe you want to travel to places, start saving. You can always know how to start. You can list down all the things you haven’t done yet. Start with little things.

Third, APPRECIATE! Look back to your previous achievements and appreciate, then let go of them because you are going to make new ones. Start appreciating yourself and see the great value of your life. You’ll begin to realize that you can do more than what you think you can. Fear cannot stand on your way because you are already stepping on it.

Fourth, always believe that YOU CAN! What you believe in matters a lot, it’s powerful. Having a positive mindset brings a positive result while worrying brings stress and stress paralyzes. Stress is actually the cause why you can’t know what you can do. It limits you and might result to depression. So whatever your dreams are, pursue them by believing that you can. Life has more things in store for you. Failure is natural but don’t stay there. When you don’t know what to do, here’s what you can do: PAUSE, RECREATE and APPRECIATE then believe that YOU CAN pursue all your dreams. The secret is this, “Don’t get tired to be inspired”.

Written by: Irish Alonzo

Win her heart back!

Nakakalungkot isipin na sa dami ng magagandang alaala na nabuo niyo bilang magkasintahan ay maglalaho, dahil lang sa isang pagkakamaling nagawa. Kung pwede lang sana gawin itong right minus wrong, para sa isang pagkakamali na nagawa ay isang magandang alaala ang mabubura. Pero walang ganun. Ang relasyon ay parang gusali at ang pundasyon naman nito ay tiwala (trust) sa isa’t isa. Kapag natibag ito, lahat ng mga pinaghirapan niyo at mga masasayang alaala ay masasama sa pagguho. Ano nga ba ang maaari kong gawin para maibalik ko ang nasira naming relasyon?

Una, patawarin mo muna sarili mo. Paano mo mapapatawad ng ibang tao kung ang sarili mo nga ay hindi mo kayang patawarin? Ito kasi ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit lumalayo ang isang tao sa kanilang kasintahan na kanilang nasaktan. Nakokonsensya sila sa kanilang nagawa at patuloy parin silang naninirahan sa past. Tandaan, Wag mo gawing hadlang ang nakalipas para ihinto mo ang nasayang niyong relasyon. Kung mahal mo talaga siya, gumawa ka ng paraan. Wag ka magmukmok diyan sa gilid na parang talunan. Laban kapatid!

Kung napatawad mo na ang iyong sarili, malamang ready ka na sa pangalawang hakbang. Ang pangalawang hakbang na kailangan mong gawin ay ligawan siya ulit. Pero ang pangliligaw na ito ay kailangan mo talagang paghirapan. Ibuhos mo ang lahat ng makakaya (effort) mo para ipakita mo sa kanya na mahal na mahal mo parin siya. Naalala mo yung sinabi ko na ang relasyon ay parang gusali? Kailangan mo ulit ito mabuo ng paunti-unti, hanggang sa bumalik ang dati niyang ganda.

Pangatlo. Normal lang yan na pagsungitan ka at mareject ka sa pagsuyo mo sa kanya. Kailangan mo lang ng mahabang pasensya. Kung may mga salita man siyang lagging sinasabi sayo, tulad ng- “Please, convince me more”, “Maghanap ka nalang ng iba mong lolokohin” at ito pa “Patunayan mo pa sakin kung talagang sincere ka, dahil ayaw ko nang masaktan”! Tama ba mga girls?

Pang-apat. Wag kang susuko! Kahit ano mang rejections ang ginagawa niya sayo, as long as wala pang nagpapasaya sa kanyang iba, laban lang ng laban! Wag mo hahayaan na masayang lahat ng effort mo at mawala ang taong mahal mo. Eto na ang tamang panahon para maipakita mo sa kanya na pinagsisihan mo na ang iyong maling nagawa. Huwag kang panghinaan ng loob, mahal ka parin niyan hindi niya lang masabi dahil kailangan pa niya ng proof at sapat na rason kung bakit niya ibabalik ang nasira niyang tiwala sayo. Be patient and time will come, Maipapanalo mo ulit siya.

Pang-lima. Oh ayan, lumambot na ang puso niya sayo at pinatawad ka na niya. Alam mo kung anong sunod? Ipagpatuloy mo lang ang pangliligaw sa kanya. Pagandahin nang pagandahin mo lang ang inyong relasyon. Panatiliin itong mainit dahil ang relasyon ay parang kape, kapag hindi na ito mainit, hindi na siya masarap inumin.

Pang-anim! Oo di pa ako tapos! Para iwas temptasyon at para mapanatilihing matibay ang pagmamahal niyo sa isa’t isa. Kailangan niyong ipagitna ang Panginoon sa inyong relasyon. Siya ang iyong magsisilbing gabay tungo sa maganda at masayang buhay.

Isinulat ni: Cladgedon Argawanon